Today is harder than any other I've had. Just small tasks to do today, but I can't stop missing Papa. I just wish for him near me. I long for his advice, or comment, or story. I long to listen to him talk, or even tell me what to do, even in a bossy way, I don't care. I wish for him to say "I miss you" like he used to when I'd call home from New Zealand. "I miss you too Papa." I honestly don't know how people go through this without believing in heaven or God. This is the only thing that brings me solace, that Papa is in a new place that has no more suffering. Death...oh death, you are painful and strip me of control over my emotions. Not so for the one who has passed. He went peacefully. But for me, the one who sits and misses, and longs.