9 Things on Thanksgiving

1. I am thankful for my family - you all continue to make me the person i am today - and i think that's a good thing (others may beg to differ but they can keep their thoughts to themselves!)
2. I am thankful for my friends – you accept the quirkiness that my family has instilled in me, and actually like it (or pretend to ;) )
3. I am thankful for my man - he is such a great friend a special person in many ways and to boot he's my husband - how lucky am i!
4. I am thankful for provision - my needs have been met
5. I am thankful for music and performing – opportunity twice this year!
6. I am thankful for food - baking, food blogs, and the discovery of Nigella Lawson (she is melodramatic in a fantastic way)
7. I am thankful for excercise, including zumba - (no i am still not certain which is left and which is right)
8. I am thankful for life
9. I am thankful that the world is a much smaller place in 2010 and I can share a piece of thanksgiving 7,000 + miles away from its birth place.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING


Lu

a state of action

This week is stirred by seizing the moments that are at hand. Grabbing them and not letting go.

Exhibit A. Mr. L and I have put in great effort to get out of bed by six thirty every day. This may sound normal but for us it is far from. We both like our sleep and historically despise the dawn hours. The early rise payoff has been fantastic. I get to work on time. He gets to work on time. I seize the day with a feeling of peaceful control over the hours in front of me. Bliss! (until that load of files mysteriously lands on my desk…)

Or B, tidying my house. Working 8-5 every day can take a toll on one’s organisation, cleanliness and state of mind. Computer screening for most of the day can leave me feeling sapped. In the midst of such chaos I found a great article on www.apartmenttherapy.com. “How to clean your house in 20 minutes a day for 30 days”. I have yet to follow the plan 100%. However, I seize (there’s that word again) little opportunities every day to improve my well being by tidying and cleaning bits of my apartment. Over the long run everything stays organised. A happy home is a tidy home and that makes a very happy Lu! (Apparently my mother has been right all along…grr…mom if you are reading this you can give your self a big smug high five)

Or C: 1 hour average to watch television per nigh. I feel a bit ashamed to admit it but I waste a lot of time watching T.V. Again I think it’s the grim monster of pity that convinces me that I have the right to vege all night because of my oh-so-productive-work-life. Last night I watched two, ½ hour cooking programmes, one of which I thoroughly enjoyed featuring Nigella Lawson. She is soooooo melodramatic! (and her recipes look tasty and quick) Love it. The other, which will remain un-named, I will not repeat next Tuesday. I then turned off (did you see that, if not please re-read) the telly. I got up, walked away, and did something, which last night was surface clean the bedroom. Check, check and double check!
What I am saying here is I seem to be learning something about valuing the moments in front of me. The action involved is glorious.

Big LOVE

Today’s Buzz started while watching 60 minutes on TV3. It featured a story about a man who has struggled with cancer since last October. This cancer patient sneakily, right under the nose of his wife, crafted an amazing video just to say “I love you” to her.

It was supremely beautiful. He even managed to get famous people, Actor Viggo Mortensen, and NZ Prime Minister, Hon John Key, to help out... I say "way to go!"

Rachel, the wife, got the opportunity to hear  "I love you" in a big way. The things is, her husband was simply reciprocating the “I love you” which Rachel had been giving over the last year through All of the care and support she offere dto her sick and ailing husband. 

Here is a snap shot of Lula’s thoughts while watching: “Life has an entire gamut of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Everyone has highs and lows…everyone. Hmmm…”

No human is an island -- all of us actually have a massive need to know we are loved.  To know our hard work has been noticed. To know that who we are is genuine and special. All of us deal with problems and so often they are things that filter into our lives, without our control. 

Plain an simple: Sometimes we all just need to hear “I LOVE YOU” in a really BIG way.

~Lu Lesaro

Let the Thirties Begin

I've turned thirty. Anyone up with pop culture knows that 40 is the new 20, so thirty must the new "somewhere-between-fifteen-and-twenty".  However, that "youthy" bit does not mean, go wild, party, craziness etc etc etc.

Instead it is the serious phase of my youth.  I'm sobering up and looking at the world with eyes of someone who now has a full three decades under her belt.

In a nut shell things I've learned a few things.  Below is a list, off the top of my head (note: there should be many, many more things not listed here.... hopefully) of what I've learned:  

Decade One: 0-10

a twin is cool and makes me cool

a big family rocks

not all step parents are evil - some are the squishy teddy bear type that love you like crazy

imagination is key - don't leave home without it

food is a beautiful thing

turkeys are awful pets if you are shorter than them

swimming and riding a bike are necessary adventures for all humans under 10

math is over rated

siblings can be mean

other people can be mean

learn from older siblings 

Decade Two: 11-20

Jr. high is a period of life which resembles hell

being tall at twelve is only advantageous if you play basketball - unless you suck at basketball

stick with the flute -- do not play sports if you are not a natural athlete 

pierced ears-- a right of passage

high school teachers can be scary

high school teachers can be motivational

if you have the opportunity to hang out with the opposite sex in high school -- do it

it is necessary to make friends with people outside ones family

friends in high school are fantastic, will most likely be acquaintences later in life

dating can teach one a lot about themselves

dating can be painful

Decade Three: 21-30

university is equally about book learning as it is learning about ones self

don't get involved in your boyfriends family "politics"

deal with skeletons from childhood early

anxiety disorders can be managed

willingness to take a big leap can mean a big reward at the end

living overseas is an adventure

one may not marry the person they expected

marry the nice nerdy guy

there is no pain like that of losing a parent

being stylish is a good thing

having a savings account is necessary

it is not easy to mold the life dreamed of but it is worth the struggle all the same.

Mt Ruapehu - keep the adventures coming!

the trinket no bag owner should be without

Are you a woman? do you own a handbag?  if so, then you need this...

Enter Lula to "Cafe de happiness"

Bag on shoulder, strutting in, ready to devour some cake, ready to gleefully sip a glorious coffee..... ready for the time of her life!

 

You are curious because this gal has glam! "Why is Lula so confident? Why does she think that this is the best day ever?" you ask.  

It is because Lula is on her way to cafe happiness. Her bag is not going to be tossed on the floor with all the crumbs, and dirt.  No, her handbag is going to hang, suspended from all of the grim in bag heaven.  It will swing, happily waiting while Lu dines via the beloved "handbag hanger"; a gift from Mr Lesaro on anniversary number 4.

Bag saved!

What a perfect gift from Mr Lesaro...well done.   The end.

Moral of the story: Get your Mr to buy you a handbag hanger or buy one for yourself -- they are the perfect accessory to all cafe dining.

The two cafes pictured here happen to be fantastic NZ spots I love:

Caffiend in Petone, on Jackson Street, Lower Hutt, NZ - the citrus cake (pictured above) melt in your mouth!- the atmosphere, bustling, urban, and funky

Floriditas in Wellington City, Cuba Street  - I suggest a long black (pictured above) filled roll and grilled holoumi - the atmosphere -a.m. casual and fresh, evening- comfortable and aesthetic

Check 'em out!

Survival is necessary, but it is not always sweet.

How is it that I've been able to live without Twin?   Seeing her for the first time since Christmas 2008 brings a certain upheaval for the life I've crafted in her absence.  I suddenly realize how empty the months have been without her compared to what the next two weeks will be with her.

This thing about living long distance is such a strange phenomenon.  Yes we've talked on the phone, kept up via the web... but seriously, how have I lived without the sparkle of her smile in my life?  Laughter is so much more in the physical, when we can experience nuance and jest in the tangible. Conversation is three dimensional with expression, and meaning has context that does not exist in 2 dimensions via phone or page.

My realization from this; it is that a fine line sits between the enjoyment of life and the survival of life.  We live in different countries.  We survive without each other.  But, we enjoy life so much more when the steps are walked together. Relationships are those crusty, wholesome things that make each of us who we are.  They are fabric.  My twin is part of my fabric.  I prefer it when she is nearby, but I survive when she isn't.  Yet when she is, it is such a beautiful, harmonious thing.

Survival is necessary, but it is not always sweet.

If you are reading this today and just simply surviving, I know what that's like.  I have experienced survival many times while living away from my culture, best friends and family.

I hope right now you can think of some people, family or friends whom you know life is sweeter with.  Cling to their memories.  Don't stop growing in their absence, but keep that little memory of their company near by.

Happiness was born a twin

Left to Right: Twin and Lula

thought to ponder on a sleep sunday

How do we learn, understand, and accept personal limitations?

Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.

Up front I simply want you to know that Buzz de Lu is not a weight loss blog.  However, in the interest of self improvement let me tell you about a little self improvement I've been quite private about.

I started a sub journey a little over a year ago, July 2009.  I joined the world wide  Weight Watchers program. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a true convert! It works. Needless to say my journey on the program hasn't been without hiccups.

After loosing 12 pounds I stopped losing. I gained 5 back and I thought, perhaps I would just be one of those people who has no motivation, eats chips all day and, who will one day be happy as a chubby chic. Fortunately for me I had a light bulb moment: June 2010. Drum roll please....

"I need to change habits."  I could hear my own voice in the back of my head... "motivation won't take you far Lula, you gotta change your strategy"...okay my own voice was really bossy...

Bugs and the Present - Monday May 31st, 2010

I am sick today. Tummy bug. While resting at home, between sleeps I had the chance to catch Oprah. Though not a huge fan today's show featured an intriguing story . It was about a woman who forgot her daughter was in her car. The little girl died tragically after being left in the hot car 8 hours. I don't want to get into "how could a woman do that?" or any argument about the scene. It has passed and it has happened, and it is horribly tragic. Instead, I find that my question is "Why this story on Oprah?"

I think it's because this woman, in the most unfortunate way, learned that each moment in our lives needs to be lived in the present. When distracted by the determination to get to the next moment, getting to work on time, she completely forgot the present, and the consequences were devastating

Until Then

I am learning that it is going to take a very long time to heal from the heartache of death, and I know there are some of you who have experienced it very recently or in the past; regardless it hurts like hell. This song is dedicated to you.

Until Then
A song by Jenn Bateman
copywrite 2009

Twenty four years
Breathed like a moment
Spoke only of minutes
Fused to my skin,

Operation snow 2008

We just shoveled 3/4ths of the driveway! Mr Lesaro, Ma Hill and me....hard work. My fingers are freezing, but at least the rental car is now at the top of the drive. 3 hours. Three hours. I'm now in the process of thawing. Ma Hill and I did our share of goofing around, and I of course, bossed mom and gavin around, trying to get them to try different methods, until we found the "fast" way of manually clearing snow. (sorry for being so bossy Ma Hill and Mr Lesaro, its unfortunately part of my nature to manage). Tarps are not an easy way to make a sled by the way, as mom and I tried, and got virtually nowhere, though it was very funny! The other problem we came in contact with was water streaming from an outside shed along the side of the house. It was trickling down into my mothers patio, off of her flat. Well, needless to say we now have no water, at least until Mr Landlord buys a valve. In the meantime we are thinking about taking a venture to oak harbor. I'm looking forward to it. Mr Lesaro and I both are having massive cabin fever, after 3 days stuck at home.

Dec Thirteenth Comes Soon

Though there are other issues that plow through the snowdrifts in my brain I think I'll talk about my husband. He'll be here in less than six days. It's this very peaceful feeling, knowing that Saturday night, a plane from New Zealand, via San Francisco will be carrying my short hobbit like man. I've gone almost 5 months without his company (minus 1 sorrowful week in October). Mr Lesaro is gentle, and comforting, and unassuming, and I've missed his quirky sense of humor. He is kind, and giving, and rarely demanding. There is a certain quility of security in his personality that I have yet to pinpoint and that makes him interesting to me. His patience is sometimes a weakness, but often keeps my impatience at bay. He has helped me be objective on many occasions and I only hope I have done the same for him.

In July, I sat across from him. We were at an Italian place for dinner, in Parnell. It was a tiny place. Rustic, with wood floors and interesting local art hanging from it's walls. For one brief, intense moment, tears infultrated my eyes; I knew that night was the last time we'd see each other for 5.5 months. But, even then the thought was there, between both Mr Lesaro and I. Statistics we'd researched about cancer had confirmed it.  I came and Papa has passed, and now Mr. Lesaro comes on Saturday.

Maybe its the relief that we'll be together now. Maybe it's how he loves me that makes this reunion so special to me. Whatever it is, I am looking forward to hugging him, and waking with him. Looking forward to going to the cinemas with him, and opening presents with him...just being with him.

How unworthy I am of such a simple, kind, friendly, hard-working man and friend.

Thank you God, and be with my mother, as she experiences a time, when her man is in a world nearer you and knowing you deeper and experiencing you face to face, and now mom is left here alone. Whether it be 5.5 months, or 55.5 years, I pray her time would pass as easily as my few months has without my companion. Thank you for listening...God and everyone.
luv Jenn

love song

try to help.
try to love,
but when it flows
you think i force it on you

it's not enough
it's all i've got
but it's not love
if we asail each other's souls

i'm stepping back
at a distance
my agenda is packed up
i'm just resting
and i'm testing
the truth of my true love

let the hectic rule for now
tomorrow we'll rebuild
i won't worry
there's no need
devistate this if you will
a bigger glory's on it's way
and there's peace around the bend
tomorrow's a new day
until then we'll just pretend

© 2008 Jenniba Music

waitin for mamasan

Quick note. I can easily waste an entire morning looking for new hairstyles on the web. How rediculous! Ma Hill should be here in 15 min. I'm going to go wash dishes. Dirty dishes are her peev.

Out of Orbit

I've been thinking about friendship. I had a small get together in September of friends I hadn't seen in a while. The friends that were there were friends met at different points in my life and each of them hold special significance for me.

Its nearly December now & I'm about to go back to New Zealand.  I'm flogging myself a little, sadly, because I have seen so few people here in WA, and wishing that the time remaining wasn't so short, and wishing I had more time to see more people.

In the theory of  Love Languages I found that Quality Time (QT) is 2nd of my top two languages. (Words of Affirmation = my # 1).  Having QT as my second love language means that it is the second best way of making me feel like I am completely and utterly adored. I cherish when people want to hang out, go on a hike, make sugar cookies, watch movies, throw a party, take a road trip, have coffee, go on a drive, etc, etc, etc.

It connects me to others and I LOVE it!

There are also friends I wish I was still connected with. People who have made amazing impacts on me. Some have kids or are in different cities... or we just don't connect anymore.

We've fallen out of orbit.

It is an interesting thing that I am learning.  The lessons of loss and love.  So often we only know loss and love via death and romance.  But somewhere in the middle is the way more common love and loss of friendships that change and mold us into who we are today.

To all friends loved and lost, my "out of orbits"  I say "I'm sorry for not sharing my present with you. I am missing you and thinking of you on a daily basis."


~Lu

Today is harder than any other I've had. Just small tasks to do today, but I can't stop missing Papa. I just wish for him near me. I long for his advice, or comment, or story. I long to listen to him talk, or even tell me what to do, even in a bossy way, I don't care. I wish for him to say "I miss you" like he used to when I'd call home from New Zealand. "I miss you too Papa." I honestly don't know how people go through this without believing in heaven or God. This is the only thing that brings me solace, that Papa is in a new place that has no more suffering. Death...oh death, you are painful and strip me of control over my emotions. Not so for the one who has passed. He went peacefully. But for me, the one who sits and misses, and longs.

Lu and Mr Lesaro
A moment of closeness.  We love you Pa Hill

PAPA'S MEMORIAL SERVICE

Jack Sherman Hill, born Nov. 25 1939, went to be with His father, God in heaven, October 15th, 2008 after a courageous two year battle against the dragon, pancreatic cancer.

Jack passed away peacefully at home and is survived by his wife of 24 years Paulette Hill, nine children; Kim Kidder (Deer Park, WA), Robin Meyers (Freeland, WA), David Hill (Spokane, WA), Deeann Bennett (Spokane, WA), Kimberley Tucksen (Yelm, WA), Karin Gilmore (Spokane, WA), Meagan Campbell (Bellingham, WA), Jennifer Bateman (Wellington, New Zealand), and Jessica Ober (Seattle,WA), adopted children; Mark Magney (Spokane WA) and Joy Meek (Spokane, WA), twelve grandchildren, two great-grand children, and several much loved nieces and nephews. He also has three sisters, the late Mary Phillips (Las Vegas), Lauretta Phillips (North Carolina), and Trudy Potter (Spokane, WA).

Jack faithfully served his country for twenty years, gaining the rank of CWO-2 in the U.S. Navy. His service included three tours in Vietnam, where he received a medal of honor for his bravery in rescuing two men, caught in combat. He also served the U.S. in the Navy's Bikini Island atom bomb testing in the 1950’s.

The family would like to thank the doctors and nurses at Virginia Mason Hospital in Seattle, WA, especially Dr. Vincent Picozzi, MD in oncology, and the staff in ICU at Whidbey General Hospital. Additionally they would like to thank Vic Hansen and Hansen’s Lumber employees for their prayers and support during Jack’s inability to work due to his illness. Jack played an active role in his community and his church, Whidbey Evangelical Free Church in Greenbank.
The family asks that any monetary gifts be made to Life Services Crisis Pregnancy Center, in Spokane, WA. Condolences can be sent to Paulette Hill, PO Box 74 Freeland, WA 98249.

Jack will forever be remembered for his generous spirit, kind heart, selflessness, humility, protection of his family and country, and his compassion for all people. His spirit and legacy will continue to live on through the lives that he touched, and his beloved wife and children.

Memorial to be held on Sunday October 19th at 2:00 pm at Whidbey Evangelical Free Church in Greenbank. Further information to come regarding a second memorial service that will be held in Spokane WA in the following week.

Sickness and death

Ps 102 Psalm 102:19 & 20 "Tell them the Lord looked down from his sanctuary. He looked to the earth from heaven to hear the groans of the prisoners, to release those condemned to die." ....vs 24 "But I cried to him, "My God, who lives forever, don't take my life while I am still so young!"

Isaiah 38:10-19 "I said, "in the prime of my life, must I now enter the place of the dead? Am I to be robbed of my normal years?" I said, "Never again will I see the Lord God, while still in the land of the living. Never again will I see my friends or laugh with those who live in this world. My life has been blown away like a shepherd's tent in a storm. It has been cut short, as when a weaver cuts cloth from a loom. Suddenly, my life was over. I waited patiently all night, but I was torn part as though by lions. Suddenly, my life was over. Delirious, I chattered like a swallow or a crane, and then I moaned like a mourning dove. My eyes grew tired of looking to heaven for help. I am in trouble, Lord. Help me! But what could I say? For he himself had sent this sickness. Now I will walk humbly throughout my years because of this anguish that I have felt. Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You have restored my health and have allowed me to live! Yes, it was good for me to suffer this anguish, for you have rescued me from death and have forgiven all my sins. For the dead cannot praise you; they cannot raise their voices in praise. Those who go down to destruction can no longer hope in your faithfulness. Only the living can praise you as I do today. Each generation can make known your faithfulness to the next. Think of it--the Lord has healed me! I will sing his praises with instruments every day of my life in the Temple of the Lord."